Today I didn’t do much work. That gave me enough time to think and discover myself a little bit. People my age are doing wonders right now. They plan far ahead and seem organized humans. Look at me, I’m sixteen and don’t even know what I want to do in this life, all I know is home then school then back to home, with some amount of homework and a little fun in between.
Today was my mathematics final exam. Honestly speaking, I hadn’t prepared myself for it. As a matter of fact, I had started studying yesterday and finished all the 16 chapters like a machine. To my surprise, the paper was EXTREMELY easy …. Much more than I had expected. I could have got 100 but I won’t, and that’s because I don’t deserve it. But no, I didn’t cry over it. I have learnt from this bizarre and promised myself not to fall into this situation ever again.
To be true, I’m VERRY lazy and that stops me from doing all good that I want to. I’m like those who have a LONG to-do list that is of no utility except decorating my desk and then decorating the dustbin afterwards.
When I was little I wanted to be a million things (well most of all, I wanted to be a horse!!)
When I grew up to a nine year old, I wanted to become
The president of INDIA
An astronaut
A TV actress
A journalist
A photographer
A scientist
(+ 50 more things)
When I further became 15, I wanted to become
A writer
A genetic engineer
A supermodel
A professional detective
An astronaut
A painter
All this I WANTED to become. Not that I had ACTUALLY done anything in that direction. Everybody tells me that I must have an aim – a specific aim and work for it, live for it, die for it and never lose sight for it. I completely agree. But I just can’t make my mind. Further, sometimes I think-who and what is I in this mighty world and then I go blank-COMPLETELY BLANK because I don’t know what I where to start and what to think.
So today, I’ve decided to do nothing but peep inside me, and come out with an answer so that when I go to bed tonight, I have a big smile from ear to ear and wake up with a plan tomorrow. =))
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