Tuesday, July 2, 2013

And This is How They Decided My Future

With trembling hands I entered my roll number, date of birth. And I saw my result
Apoorva Tikku
Category: General
Sub Category: None
State code of eligibility: Himachal Pradesh
Percentile Score in Qualifying Exam 81.73
All India Percentile Score in JEE(Main)-2013  96.69 
All India Rank : Wait... WHAT?
As I kept staring at my 5 digit AIR, I couldn't breathe for MINUTES
I wasn't expecting a very very good rank. But THIS! was too much.
A hundred things flashed in my mind in a nanosecond
Just then my friend called
"What's your rank?" she asked?
I was in no mood to talk to her. She was sounding very happy
"I got 9k rank", she said.
Which surprised me. Because she had a fairly lower JEE score than me.
But then I realized. She had 97% in board exams
"Congrats, bye"
Only from this year, they had to give weightage to the boards marks?
As soon as I cut the call, the thoughts came back to me.
I thought of last year. I thought of what I had thought. I thought of what I might get with this. I even thought of doing something stupid again. And I almost did. Almost
But then realized, Zindagi itni bhi sasti nahi hai.
Here was a failure, once again. Staring at me from the screen.
A failure.
And as I, drowned in my tears sit down and write all of this, I cannot think anything but the 5 digit rank.
This is how they decided my future. With this number.